mjtacc’s Personal Library

AVAILABLE FOR LOAN - the site will pay to have them sent to you, your cost is to send them back.

The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders : An Interactive Self-Help Guide by Joseph Santoro Ph.D.- OUT ON LOAN

Too Tired To Keep Running, Too Scared To Stop: Change your beliefs, change your life by Joyce Nelson Patenaude Phd - OUT ON LOAN

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D., Hal Straus, Jerold J. Kriesman (2 copies avail) - ONE OUT ON LOAN

Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder by R A. Moskovitz (2 copies avail) - ONE OUT ON LOAN

Stop Walking On Eggshells: Coping When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. Mason, M.S. and Randi Kreger (2 copies avail) - ONE OUT ON LOAN

New Hope for People with Borderline Personality Disorder: Your friendly, Authorative Guide to the Latest in Traditional and Complementary Solutions by Neil R. Bockian Ph.D.

Life At The Border: by Leland Heller, MD

Let Me Make It Good: by Jane Wakelin

Healing the Shame that Binds You: by John Bradshaw - OUT ON LOAN

Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child: by John Bradshaw - OUT ON LOAN

The Inner Child Workbook: What to Do With Your Past When It Just Won't Go Away by Cathryn L. Taylor - OUT ON LOAN

When Someone You Love Is Depressed: How to Help Your Loved One Without Losing Yourself: by Laura Epstein Rosen, Ph.D. and Xavier Francisco Amador, Ph.D.

Women and Borderline Personality Disorder : Symptoms and Stories by Janet Wirth-Cauchon - OUT ON LOAN

Understanding the Borderline Mother: by Christine Ann Lawson

What About Me? – A Guide For Men Helping Female Partners Deal With Childhood Sexual Abuse by Grant Cameron

She Flies Without Wings – How horses touch a woman’s heart by Mary D. Midkiff

The Road Less Traveled and Beyond, Spirtual growth in an age of anxiety by M. Scott Peck

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay : A Step-By-Step Guide to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum

I'm Ok - You're Ok : A Practical Guide to Transactional Analysis by Thomas A. Harris

Games People Play : The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric, M.D. Berne

How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have by John Gray

What You Feel You Can Heal by John Gray

Men are from Mars Women are from Venus by John Gray - OUT ON LOAN

How To Understand Others And Understand Yourself by Florence Littauer

Laughter, Sex, Vegetables & Fish Survive and Thrive Under Stress by Dr John Tickell

Sexual Awareness by Barry and Emily McCarthy

One to One Massage, expert techniques to relax and stimulate

Being Happy, A handbook to greater confidence and security by Andrew Matthews

Blessings From the Other Side by Sylvia Browne

Never Give Up – Do you have a passion for living? Do you want to change your life? By Graeme Alford

BOOK REVIEWS

Home Coming - Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw

I know what I really want for Christmas. I want my childhood back. Nobody is going to give me that ... I know it doesn't make sense, but since when is Christmas about sense anyway? It is about a child of long ago and far away, and it is about a child of now. In you and me. Waiting behind the door of our hearts for something wonderful to happen." (Robert Fulghum in the forward of Bradshaw's book, "Homecoming".)

A little boy, a little girl, waiting, waiting, and waiting some more for something wonderful to happen. Trying valiantly to cope with all that unanswered anticipation and with the excitment that fades to tragic emptiness and boredom. Forgotten, betrayed, abandoned and then forgotten again, betrayed again and abandoned again and again and again ... your little one, your inner-child, the essence of all the authenticity that you could be - tossed aside and left alone. Why?

No matter how adult you may think you are, you cannot be fully and wholly the adult that you were meant to be until you welcome in your inner child. Discovering, acknowledging and learning to love and validate your inner child is the key to recovery.

Until we tap into it, express it (in healthy and productive ways) there is a wounded and aching inner child within holding a stockpile of residual anger, rage and indignation. It is this lonely little being that you've left behind and forgotten about that won't let you go forward without him or her. It is this little one that holds so much of the pain from your past that you, in your denial, think that you've left behind ages ago. You carry inside of yourself. The longer you are dissociated from your inner child the more pain that will build. Not forging a relationship with your inner-child will leave you living a life that is most likely void of true joy.

It is likely quite fair and accurate to say that no one gets out of childhood without some measure of unresolved grief. For those who were raised in dysfunctional and or abusive families this is especially true. Where do you think all your grief has gone? Are you really happy?

So, you might you wonder, if I really have this inner-child part of me in here that I need to something about, something with and/or something for, how can I find him or her? What if I don't believe in this stuff? What then? Don't we leave childhood behind when we get older, isn't that what being adult means and is all about? Ever ask yourself these questions? If you have and you haven't decided to find your inner-child, you may still believe this is nonesense, so ask yourself now, are you really happy? Are you living your life in the here and now? Or does your past still cloud your experience of the here and now? Do you know who you are? Do you know what you want out of life and if so, are you on the road to getting it?

Every journey has its peaks and valleys. Every journey has its construction zones and detours. Inevitably, though, if you do not acknowledge and welcome home your inner child you will not be able to overcome the obstacles that stand in between you and the future that you deserve. Nothing can stand in one's way quite like an unresolved past.

Bradshaw himself writes: "I began my inner child more than twelve years ago, using a rather makeshift meditation with some of my therapy clients. But this meditation achieved some very dramatic results. When people first made contact with their inner child, the experience was often overwhelming. Sometimes they sobbed intensely. Later, they said things like 'I've been waiting all of my life for someone to find me'; 'it feels like a 'homecoming'; 'My life has been transformed since I found my child' .

Because of this response, I developed an entire workshop to help people find and embrace their inner child. The workshop has evolved over the years, due mostly to an ongoing dialogue with those who have participated in it. This is the most powerful work I have ever done.

The workshop focuses on helping people finish their unresolved grief from childhood -- griefs resulting from abandonment, abuse, in all forms, the neglect of childhood developmental dependency needs, and the enmeshments that result from family-system dysfunction ...

If normal dependency needs are not met, we tend to grow into adulthood with a wounded inner child. Had our childhood needs been met, we would not have become 'adult children'."

The inner child was given further and more meaningful introduction by Eric Berne in his pioneering book, Transactional Analysis (T.A.). With this theory, somewhat radical in its beginning, Berne broke with psychoanalytic tradition when he deviced his theory.

Prior to Berne's theory of T.A. Freudian ego definition of, id, ego, and super-ego was widely ascribed to.

It is worth noting that T.A. does not adequately, if at all, address the reality that we not only have to heal our inner child but that we have to do so at many different levels and stages of development. I have found T.A. very significant in my own recovery but find also very useful many of the methods of John Bradshaw and many of the suggestions outlined by Cathryn L. Taylor in her Inner Child Work Book. Most of my own experience has been a bit of this and a bit of that. I think that having a broad-based ecclectic approach that is not necessarily loyal to any one theory or discipline is what can be of most benefit to those who are determined to heal.

With Transactional Analysis Eric Berne "made complex interpersonal transactions understandable when he recognized that the human personality is made up of three "ego states"; each of which is an entire system of thought, feeling, and behavior from which we interact with each other. The Parent, Adult and Child ego states and the interaction between them form the foundation of transactional analysis theory. These concepts have spread into many areas of therapy, education, and consulting as practiced today."

The Inner Child Workbook : What to Do With Your Past When It Just Won't Go Away

Cathryn L. Taylor, M.A., M.F.C.C., quotes Alice Miller:

'There was something you once needed in childhood that you did not get. You will never get it and the proper response is grief.'

"To heal, one must acknowledge what was not there and then release the self from wanting it any longer." It has been my experience that to continue to want anything that one was not even able to ever get in the first place is incredibly painful and absolutely self-defeating. It is beyond wishful thinking to the point of being not only cognitively- distorted but delusional. However, having said that, don't be hard on yourself about it. We all do it, for as long as we need to. It is a protection against what can be (and was for me - still is to a degree) an incredible source of pain and grief. As trite as this may sound or read, here is the part where you give yourself a break. It is also the part where you think long and hard about what you do and don't believe to be both true and and possible. Because you DO deserve to be loved. You are worthy of love. You do want to love yourself. No one wants to hurt themselves. No one wants to abuse themselves. No one wants to take the role of their past abuser(s) and re-abuse themselves. NO! This is all done as the result of not knowing yourself. It is the result of being alienated from your own inner child by the very nature and depth of the pain that you and your little one have had to endure. Instead of having your needs met you have learned that to need means to set yourself up to be hurt, betrayed, abandoned, embarrassed, made a fool of and so on. This is the past that your inner child carries and holds and continues to feel over and over again. Your inner child awaits your arrival at the doorstep of your soul where the reality of your unmet needs can meet with the authentic pain that you are truly in. It is here, and only here, at this juncture of love and understanding, within yourself, that you can change what Berne called your "life script". You can stop following the same painful patterns that get you little "pay-off" if any and instead re-learn what it is that you need and in the learning how to meet those needs you will find out who you really are and that in and of itself is such an impetus for change.

"The Inner Child Work Book is designed as a gentle, step-by-step guide for re-parenting the inner child during the first seven stages of life: as an infant, a toddler, a young child, a grade school child, a young teen, a young adolescent, and a young adult. Using a wide range of tools to do this inner work, the reader is led to explore the issues of grief, shame, and loss at each of the seven stages.

A.J.'s Review of this book

Cathryn L Taylor writes in her book, The inner child embodies the characteristics of the innocent part of the self." "...what you do not master in childhood reappears in your adult lives as inappropriate responses to people, places, or things. It is these inappropriate responses that cause you discomfort. They are outgrowths of the pain and fear experienced in childhood when basic needs were not filled.

Learning what you need to learn in each childhood stage is contingent upon your needs being met." "...Of course life does not stop because you are unable to learn and master tasks. It continues, and you survive by developing faulty ways of responding to others and to events that take place in your lives."

"In childhood these faulty behaviors are functional because they help you survive. But in adulthood, they become inappropriate. They no longer bring you what you want and need. You continue to repeat these faulty behaviors as adults, however, because you know no other way to respond. These behaviors express your fear of love, your inability to say no, your criticalness, your shame. And they result in patterns that interfere with your professions, your self-esteem, and your capacity to claim your place in the world as an adult".

Just typing out the above from Taylor's book left with me with that sense of aching pain. The realization of how many years I've lost to that patterned-faulty behaviour. Even though I am not engaging in it now, there is still a tremendous amount of grief. The time I lost to it, unable to be an adult cannot be gotten back anymore than I will ever be able to get all that I so longed to have in my childhood in terms of a multitude of unmet needs that I so would have loved to have met by someone.

So, here we are, you see, in adulthood with the pain of children. It is up to each and every one of us to address this pain. If we do not we truly will never be adults. We will just be bigger and older children. The result of this is just loss compounded upon loss and the continued production of such untold grief.

Haven't you hurt long enough? Haven't you hurt deeply enough? Don't you want to know joy? You do deserve to be loved, to learn how to meet your own needs and to feel joy. To get there you need to feel the pain of your inner child first. It is the most rewarding grief I have ever expressed in my life.

My hope for you, if you are reading this and have not yet found your inner child, is that you will stop now, stop running, stop hiding, and take some of the information here (or search elsewhere for more information too) and begin the journey to the centre of your authentic self, it all begins with your inner child.

I was once a raging, angry and very very hurt little girl. I was so alone. Nobody ever came when I cried. I held my baby arms outstretched for so long, night after lonely, dark, scary, cold night - nobody came. My arms just hung there painfully embracing the void that nothing is. I so longed to be held, to be rocked, to be hugged, to be loved and to be soothed and comforted. Nobody came. Years went by. Nobody came. I got bigger. Still nobody came. I tried everything I could think of. I misbehaved as much as I could possibly and still no response.

On she went, not paying me any mind at all. She never could figure out why she hurt so darn much. Well, it was me. It was me screaming. It was me aching. She never could figure out why she was often so anxious and so scared so often. Well, you guessed it, that too was me. That was me, in terror. That was me in fear for my very life. That was me all alone, not knowing how to protect myself or from what or whom I needed protecting and with no one to protect me.

Alone in the dark, little girl that I am, terrified and alone with no big person, no adult to tell me I was safe or to even help me to know what it might feel like to be safe. Don't leave your little girl or boy alone like she left me alone. It hurts too much. It ain't fair. Please, please listen to them okay? Hear them okay? There are too many little kids like me, alone, scared, hungry, with aching empty arms and faces full of snot from crying for lifetimes.

I was sure I was going to die. Just die. Just be so scared and so terrified and so alone that I would just drop dead out of sheer lonely-exhaustion. Terrified exhaustion. Then one day, one magical day she finally hurt enough and she finally felt enough of my anxious- terror to turn to me and begin to talk to me. Oh, what a day that was! What a day that was! It was like the sun came out for the first time in my life, since it had gone in when my parents abandoned and betrayed me. Finally, I thought, finally, I was going to be rescued. After all these years of watching her try to rescue everyone else and me all the while trying to manipulate the world into rescuing her, rescuing me, she finally just crumpled up into a sobbing ball of my agony.

Oh, the release, it was so freeing. It gave me hope that I could go on living. It gave me such hope that one day I could laugh like some other kids I heard laugh before. And I was right. When she heard me and validated me I was able to laugh. She's come and gone a bit on me over the last few years but she hasn't ever left me totally alone. And now she's doing so good. We get good food. I get washed and cleaned more like I always wanted to. And recently she stopped, in the middle of her panic to figure out what the cause of my distress really was. Now we are working on this together. Seems our biggest fears now have all to do with being healthy. I wish I could describe how wonderful it feels to be loved and cared about. After years of the exact opposite it's amazing. It's like walking out of a dark, cold tunnel after years of seeing no sun light and then just being engulfed in the softness of the warmth of that bright light. Yes overwhelming, but overwhelmingly wonderful and so comforting too. Take it from me it is never too late, nope, never too late. Us little folks will give you a break whenever you turn inside long enough to meet us. You have a little girl or boy waiting for you please don't keep them waiting any longer. How about it?

Transactional Analysis was a major part of my years at Uni whilst learning the skills of Training and Development. To understand the varying communications, group dynamics and reaction levels between PARENT, ADULT and CHILD was an eye opening experience and one that has assisted me through my role as a facilitator. If you want to learn more about Transactional Analysis to better understand yourself, others and the child within us all then I strongly suggest the following books.

I'm Ok - You're Ok : A Practical Guide to Transactional Analysis - by Thomas A. Harris

"I'm OK - You're OK" is probably the best-known expression of the purpose of transactional analysis: to establish and reinforce the position that recognizes the value and worth of every person. Transactional analysts regard people as basically "OK" and thus capable of change, growth, and healthy interactions.

"Happy childhood" notwithstanding, most of us are living out the NOT OK feelings of a defenseless CHILD wholly dependent on OK others for stroking and care. By the third year of life, says Dr. Harris, most of us have made the unconscious decision I'M NOT OK-YOU'RE OK. This negative Life Position, shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational ADULT potential -- leaving us vulnerable to the inappropriate, emotional reactions of our CHILD and the uncritically learned behavior programmed into our PARENT. In personal Transactions, NOT OK people resort to harmful withdrawal, rituals, activities, pastimes, and games for getting needed strokes while avoiding painful intimacy with people they see as OK. Dr. Thomas A. Harris's pioneering work in Transactional Analysis has had a fundamental impact on our understanding of interpersonal behavior. In showing us how to make the conscious decision I'M OK-YOU'RE OK, he has helped millions of despairing people find the freedom to change, to liberate their ADULT effectiveness, and to achieve joyful intimacy with the people in their lives.

When one acknowledges and welcomes in, not only his/her inner child, but their pain and fears as well, then and and only then can one begin to understand his or her transactions (and actions) or patterns of behaviour well enough to be able to make the changes necessary to be healthier and happier. This is not easy work by any stretch of the imagination but I have yet to find much other healing work that is as rewarding as inner child work.

It is only through the reclaimation of your inner-child that you can hope to truly recover. You cannot do an end-run around this most crucial aspect of yourself. It is often the most difficult, anxiety-producing work. It is nonetheless the backbone of healing.

Games People Play : The Psychology of Human Relationships - by Eric, M.D. Berne

Dr. Eric Berne, as the originator of transactional analysis, has attained recognition for developing one of the most innovative approaches to modern psychotherapy. Discover how many of these "secret games" you play everyday of your life: Iwfy (If it weren't for you); Sweetheart; Threadbare; Harried; Alcoholic, and many more. A groundbreaking book that bores deep into the heart of all our relationships, GAMES PEOPLE PLAY is a classic that should be read again and again.

Healing the Child Within : Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families by Charles L. Whitfield

"The "Child Within" refers to that part of each of us which is ultimately alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled; it is our real self-who we truly are."

A Gift to Myself A Personal Workbook and Guide to Healing My Child Within - by Charles L. Whitfield

"This book saved my life! Much of my self-defeating actions brought me nothing but pain & confusion. This book is A powerful tool to change your thoughts and behaviours that can lead to depression, fear, hopelessness, & procrastination. This not A book that you just sit down & read. It is A book for those who truly desire to put an end to all the madness in their life & begin the journey of personal recovery. Think of it as food for recovery."

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay.

This is the type of book many people will ignore up to a certain point. Then one day something happens. Someone dies, or a relationship dies, your life is in turmoil, and you don't know why it's affecting you so bad. This happened to me. The book was shown to me previously, but the concepts of self-love meant nothing to me and I left the book alone. Parents passing away, a health scare and all sorts of repressed emotional issues surfaced and in my state of distress, the ideas expressed in the book took on a whole new meaning.

This book introduced to me concepts that I now accept unequivocally such as: the importance of self-love and self-acceptance, creating your reality by your beliefs, the power of affirmation, the "inner child" and the relationship between our mental state and our physical health. As Ms. Hay spends considerable energy discussing cancer, perhaps I could mention here that according to her book, the most likely causes of cancer are deep hurt, longstanding resentment, deep secrets or grief eating oneself away or carrying hatred. Ms. Hay's key message is: "if we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed." Indeed she cured herself after having been diagnosed as being terminally ill with cancer! The book gives some very good ideas on how to effect change in our lives. Ways are presented to trick the mind into finding resources that are innately there but we may not be consciously aware of how to tap them.

You Can Heal Your Life is quite simplistic, which is not to say that it's simplicity is not also it's strength. But there is more to be learnt along one's path in life. The book is somewhat a primer for those on the path of inner discovery and highly recommended. It contains many pearls of wisdom. I especially recommend it for anyone who has or is experiencing a traumatic event in their life, or for anyone who feels their life lacks joy.. It's not to say that the book is not pertinent to others, but unfortunately, we are often unmotivated to change until we are forced to do so.

Let Me Make It Good : A Chronicle of My Life With Borderline Personality Disorder by Jane Wakelin

This is a very personal story of the author life with Borderline Personality Disorder. It's a great read and along the way you learn how this disorder affected Jane. Like I say, BPD affects everyone differently and in no way does this book try to stereotype the disorder or the sufferer. If you have a family member, a partner, friend or even yourself you will learn a lot of how this disorder can affect a human being. An amazing thing happened whilst Jane was writing this book and I'll let the following statement from Jane explain it "On page 273, I said that Jim Wanklin drank and took drugs in public school. I was pretty messed up at the time and got my screwed up life intertwined with his. Jim Wanklin has *never* done drugs nor has he ever go drinking before he was of legal age. I apologize to Jim and everyone." This book is Jane's story, but it could be anyone's.

Women and Borderline Personality Disorder : Symptoms and Stories by Janet Wirth-Cauchon

From the Cover of the book At the beginning of the twentieth century, "hysteria" as a medical or psychiatric diagnosis was primarily applied to women. In fact, the term itself comes from the Greek, meaning "wandering womb." We have since learned that this diagnosis had evolved from certain assumptions about women's social roles and mental characteristics, and is no long in use. The modern equivalent of hysteria, however, may be borderline personality disorder, defined as "a pervasive pattern of instability of self-image, interpersonal relationships, and mood, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts." This diagnosis is applied to women so much more often that to men that feminists have begun to raise important questions about the social, cultural, and even the medical assumptions underlying this "illness." Women are said to be "unstable" when they may be trying to reconcile often contradictory and conflicting social expectations.

Healing the Shame That Binds You by John E. Bradshaw

Shame in a persons living life, a topic barely explored. This book by John Bradshaw starts that exploration. I'm not going to say it's a brilliant read as it is technical and diagnostic but it does open the door for further exploration. Shame sometimes causes the person to feel bad deep within themselves. Shame can come from emotional and/or physical abuse within the family/carer environment. People then tend to measure their worth against external standards and feedback and when it is negative or lacking can feel a consuming loss of self. Whether perpetrated on an overt or covert level, the damaging effects can last a lifetime, leading people into mental illness, addiction, and dysfunctional existence. Not everyone will accept or choose the solutions and recovery methods but as with most books you take from it what you need. It is a book that makes you stop and think and then question. It may help you to understand yourself or a loved one or at worst give you an insight into a possibility as to why they are who they are.
Revised April 2003

Too Tired To Keep Running - Too Scared To Stop by Joyce Nelson Patenaude PhD

Joyce Patenaude PhD, with over 20 years of experience, talks to you about self-discovery, about you finding out who you are and who you could (and can) be. She talks about our beliefs systems in relation to Women, Men and Relationships, then takes us through a close look at the patterns developed in our Childhood.

The book is well written, easy to understand and follows up with some great practical exercises that will challenge you to challenge and assess your own belief systems.

This is truly a book that will end in your own self-discovery. I found the topic of "Patterns from Childhood" (Chapter 6) to be of great benefit to myself. Over the years we develop our belief system but we never review them or question them. As much as this book challenges us, it also reconfirms some of our beliefs. I have always believed that no one can love you or accept the love you have for them unless they have self-love. I recently did a program that looked at the patterns we developed from childhood and to re-assess them using our experiences to date.

This is just my unqualified, personal opinion but unfortunately sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder are sometimes consumed with the shame, guilt and a belief of self-hate. And many supporters of people with Personality Disorders lose or start to disbelieve in their own self-belief system and this is something you have to be aware of. This is a great read, with excellent exercises that lead you down the road of our own Self Discovery.

What About Me? A Guide For Men Helping Female Partners Deal With Childhood Sexual Abuse by Grant Cameron.

To start with this isn’t a ‘pity pot’ for guys it’s a great read on understanding the process, how to support and what to expect as your partner goes through an unbelievable process. All of this is based on one fact – your partner WANTS to heal the wounds of Childhood sexual abuse.

To hear for the first time of the childhood sexual abuse that happened to the person you love will literally rip your heart out and bring out emotions you have never, ever experienced before. Don’t worry about how you personally react to this news because this is something that you have never (hopefully) experienced before. Just pick up a vital piece of information – believe her. Enough of others will provide the negatives that make this world tick.

Grant has provided us with an excellent understanding of the issues relating to Childhood sexual abuse and helps to ready you for the roller coaster ride through the healing process with your loved one. It gives you a great idea of how the react to things, their feelings and an idea as to why they say and do what they do during this journey.

An area of the book that I found most beneficial was on the topic of ‘The Inner Child’. Get a good understanding of the inner child as this will help you to understand so many things that happen. Grant deals with the three stages of the recovery program, how to cope, whether to stay or not, looking after yourself while you support your partner and his thoughts on the whole process. It is written in a very easy to read format that relates directly to you, the supporter.

Remember, you are there to support and love but you are useless to your partner if you are not looking after yourself.

Lost In The Mirror - An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder by Richard A. Moskovitz MD

This is a "not too easy to put down book". I sat down and started to flick through this book and found myself going back and reading it from start to finish. A fantastic read that gave me a better understanding of the life of someone living with BPD. Life at the Border really got to me and gave me an understanding of something I was desperately trying to come to grips with. It talks about very relevant BPD topics openly, honestly and directly. As each chapter unfolds you are taken a further step along Sara's journey.

From the author, Richard Moskovitz - "Lost In The Mirror peers into a black and white world of extreme emotions and turbulent relationships. The inhabitants of this world experience their lives from moment to moment, grasping for shreds of identity to connect each fragment of experience to the next. Because they have little awareness of the texture and flow of human emotions, painful emotions, such as loneliness and fear, may seem endless and intolerable. Their need to escape this pain leads to desperate, impulsive and frequently self defeating behaviours."

Here is a review of this book by A.J. Mahari who is a recovered BP:

"My first reaction when I finished reading this book was, 'Where was this book when "I really needed it" on my journey towards recovery from BPD?' I could have benefited even more from reading it some years ago.

"Dr. Moskovitz's Lost in the Mirror is a wonderfully compassionate and well-written diary of what it is to be a borderline. It is presented in a straightforward way. It is fair to borderlines. It states the truth, pulls no punches, and yet leaves one feeling very moved from reading it. "This is the most refreshing and informative read I have yet experienced on the subject of Borderline Personality Disorder. It epitomizes and delivers the very essence of BPD in a clear, easily understandable and significant way. "A must for those with BPD, for those that love someone who has BPD, and for those who treat BPD patients/clients."

If you wish to submit a book review or comments on a BPD book you have read recently by all means do so. Keep it to a maximum of one page. I thank you for help.

Healing Your Aloneness : Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child by Erika J. Chopich

"Shows how to reconnect with your inner child to short-circuit self-destructive patterns, resolve fears and conflicts, and build satisfying relationships.

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